- You use the word ‘potty’ to excuse yourself in formal adult settings.
- You have ever run from a restaurant with one hand over each breast because you forgot to wear nursing pads.
- You know what ‘sippee-cup cheese’ is.
- You have no idea who Lady Gaga is, but you find yourself astonished that someone hasn’t yet heard of Bubble Guppies because they are such a big hit.
- A romantic evening with your husband consists of boxed mac n cheese by candlelight with conversation in whispers so as not to wake the small people.
- At said romantic evening, the topic keeps coming back to the three D’s – Diapers, Discipline and Dora.
- You find yourself saying at least once per day “Do not stick that there!”
- You consider a nursing tank top with a zipper front hoodie your standard daily wear.
- You use dry shampoo at least as often as real shampoo. If not more.
- The dark circles under your eyes are so well entrenched that no concealer known to man will ever make any difference.
- You can’t remember the last time you took an entire bath/shower without ‘company’.
- You have ever had to stuff your bra full of tissue for reasons that have nothing to do with enhancing your figure.
- You buy the following in bulk: apple juice, ketchup, chicken nuggets, crackers and mac n’ cheese.
- You have any of the following in your purse and/or pocket: pacifier, extra panties, a mismatched sock, a crayon (or seven), a puzzle piece or a Happy Meal toy.
- Your sippee-cup collection has officially eclipsed your wine glass collection in terms of cabinet space.
- You think more than once per day “I’m probably happier not knowing what that sound/smell/stain is”.
- Your budget includes columns for photography, play dates and kid consignment sales.
- You have a scar on the bottom of your foot in the exact shape of a Lego/Barbie shoe/Matchbox car.
- Non-animated shows take up a mere 12% of the space used on your nearly full DVR.
- You intentionally forget key ingredients to recipes at your big shopping trip, just to have a reason to get out of the house for ten minutes in the evening.
- Most days, Facebook is your only communication with anyone over the age of five.
- Your daily nutrition frequently consists of whatever chicken nuggets, crackers and juice your kid didn’t finish off.
- You find yourself wearing pink princess hair clips to hold your almost-grown-out bangs in place.
- Your jacket is stolen and you are more worried about the three dollar pacifier in the pocket (it’s her favorite!), than your one hundred and twenty dollar coat.
But most importantly:
You’re heart is so full of love for your children that nothing can ever contain it!
This is so true!